Steak

What's your favorite steak? A T-bone, NY Strip, Porter House? Last night Q and I had some damn good steaks, but they weren't cow steaks. There was nothing bloody about them, no medium rare or well done bullshit to deal with. These steaks were, how do you say, made as if a cow were put into a drooling vegetable state. They were...(cue in the creepy organ to build anticipation)...Turnips.

Oh shit, no he didn't.

Yes sir, and ma'am, I did. I thought about a contemplative friend, one who's finding their place in our now abstracted food chain, and decided that steaks shouldn't just be meat nor should vegetables only be sides or muddled into stews, soups, or ambiguous blobs. Don't get me wrong. I love vegetable soups, chili, stewed greens, roasted medleys, and almost any vegetable concoction under the sun, but why no, pardon me, masculine vegetable main courses. No one ever says that Porter house looks cute. Shit, it's not cute, it's a hunk of awesome, kick ass, manly meat, even if that sounds gross. Honestly, why not make a nice sized veggie steak that feels like I'm eating a piece of protein.

Breakdown.

1 large turnip cut into thick slabs.

For 2 steaks, marinate with:

a good amount of olive oil

1 tbsp apple cider vinegar

pinch of salt

couple grinds of black pepper

1 tsp coriander

1 tsp each of rosemary & thyme (cue the Simon and Garfunkel)

1 tbsp horseradish mustard

couple dashes of worcestershire sauce

Let them all mingle with the steaks for a while.

Now, how would one prepare such a meaty steak...well, like a regular steak, except there's a little less to worry about. With these here turnip steaks, we're not going to get held up on whether or not they're bloody or medium rare or well done. All you're looking for is a nice golden brown on the outside, preferably with a bit of crispy texture like a crust, and the ability to sink a toothpick into it, but it shouldn't be too easy to sink it in. We don't want mush piles now, these are supposed to be steaks. Think about how sinking your teeth into a piece of meat feels, yea I chose to say it that way, and now think about that when you insert your toothpick into the presumably cooked through turnip.

So get a cast iron skillet with some oil, or butter, or both, and crank the heat up. Pat your turnip steaks dry and prepare to sear. Once the turnip hits the pan, don't move it around too much. You're looking for that nice golden-brown, which should take a few minutes per side.

While you're searing, crank the oven to 350˚-375˚. Flip the turnip, get the proper caramelization on the other side and toss it into the oven. Cook it for about 20-30 minutes or until it is of the texture you envisioned, yes...by using your toothpick.

There you have it. Turnip Steaks.