What to do when you have no planned meals and fridge full of random shit?
Well the answer to that question is easy...throw all the shit in a food processor, turn it on, and make dumplings.
There was no set plan for what to make, but we had a strange assortment of leftover ingredients from making some other things.
1/4 lb. of ground beef (locally sourced and bought from The Meat Hook. I spend too much time and money there.)
1 monster sized chicken liver
1 duck leg from previously made Duck Confit (which is as easy to make as scratching your balls in the privacy of your own home.)
1 Shallot
2 Garlic Cloves
1/2 of a Leek
1 Carrot
With those ingredients at hand, chop em all up and from the half court line, toss them into the food processor or blender or just chop them up really fine or chunky or whatever, just make sure it's mixed to your liking and that when you fill up a dumpling wrap it won't burst through like an alien baby exploding out of your recently awoken space ass.
See, this is what I mean by chop finely. The liver looks silky and spreadable. No massive chunks, which also means you and your crew wont share the fate of death due to your chest exploding from the inside out.
From there, I added:
1 Egg
3 tsp Hoisin Sauce
1 tsp Rice Vinegar
2 tsp Dark Soy Sauce
1/4 tsp Cinnamon
1/4 tsp Red Pepper
1 tsp Crystalized Ginger (I didn't have any fresh ginger)
Mix it all together like you did with your favorite songs to cry to playlist from middle school. I'm sorry she was mean to you and dated the quarterback, but now it's time to get over it and make some dinner. Maybe she'll date you now that you're not as much of a little bitch and you can cook. Hey there's an idea, send her a myspace invite for a home cooked dinner. She won't find it creepy that you're still stalking her.
Now that your dumpling mixture is all evenly homogenized, get your dumpling wraps ready and fill each one with 1 Tbsp of dumpling mix.
Once all your dumpling wraps are filled, seal them up with a little bit of egg wash along the edges. You can make any shape you like, we just put the opposite corners together, which all meet at the center making it look like a bunch of little birthday presents. Quinn does such great work when I yell at her.
Now cook them! What? You say you want them fried, now you want them steamed, now you want them fried and steamed!? I say, PERFECT. Over here, in this house, I like them pan fried, but Quinn likes them steamed. How can you possibly do them at the same time? It's quite easy. Just put a little bit of oil in a pan, one that preferably has a lid to it, but if not, just use some tin foil to cover it. Now that your oil is hot, fill it up with dumplings, but don't overcrowd it, you need to get them out easily. Pan fry for a couple of minutes, depending on how dark and crispy you want the bottoms to be.
Now that they are done to your crispy likeness, add some liquid to that hot oily pan, which means WATCH THE FUCK OUT. That hot oil is gonna splatter everywhere so do it quick. Dump the liquid, which in our case was a miso broth (miso paste + water), and throw the lid on unless you like that oil-burned pocked skin look, which is totally in now-a-days, it says "I'm a fearless cook baby, so come over to my place and I'll show you that I can stuff a turkey", and by the way, it's not thanksgiving.
Now that the liquid is steaming your already pan fried dumplings, get a plate and some tongs ready. Once the dumpling wraps begin to cling to the filling and turn a bit translucent, that's see-through for the rest of you assholes, remove the lid and transfer each dumpling to the plate.
To finish these little packages of hot dead animal mix, get a bowl. Add a little soy sauce with some hoisin sauce, red pepper, ginger (or crystalized ginger), garlic, and rice vinegar. Do whatever makes you happy. Some Sriacha would be awesome too.
Now that you're as bloated as can be from what looked like only a small portion of dumplings, and clueless as what to do with the left over mixture, here's a few options:
a) you could make more dumplings dumb ass
b) make a dumpling burger and add some more carrots, thai basil, and Siracha. Banh Mi style.
c) fry it up with some grated potatoes for a different take on hash.
Until next time dad.
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